Update!

Well, I haven't been able to find a camera and haven't found a scale to step on... so no news on my weight gain. I suppose that's not really as important as how my clothes fit, though.

Anyway, thanks for the comments I received! I hadn't expected any since I haven't been an active commenter/blogger, but it was a definite pleasant surprise.

So far, I haven't been E2L-ing so much as McDougalling. I really like what Dr. Fuhrman says in his book about starting Eat to Live: Even if you don't follow E2L strictly but adopt healthier eating habits in your attempt, you've accomplished something big. I'm definitely eating less harmful foods now. I've been managing to get in all of my bean, cooked veggie, and fruit servings. I'm a bit heavy on the starches (All whole foods, of course! :)) right now. I've been having about three servings of starches a day. I plan on cutting my starch serving down to two, eventually, but I'm not going to focus on getting down to just one a day.

I was on the treadmill today for about 30 minutes, and it felt great, even if I was a bit out of breath.

A Jean Size and a Half

Unfortunately, that's what I've gained. The year 2006 is just kicking my butt. It started off with the very tragic and public death of a parent, the hospitalization of another close relative, and then another relative dealing with cancer. In all of this, I had 1/3 of my family disown me. Since I've last updated, life's thrown some more stuff my way. Three of my good friends are suffering medical problems (An undiagnosed skin disease, an undiagnosed intestinal problem, and cancer), my great uncle has been becoming incredibly forgetful, the relationship with my only remaining parent is a bit tumultuous, I'm having work troubles, and I just can't deal!

So, I've started going to therapy. I can't believe what a terrible year I'm having, and I just haven't been dealing too well. I've gained quite a bit of weight, and I'm sick quite a bit.

So, right now, I'm sitting at home, congested, and wearing some of the only clothes I have that fit. I've just gotta deal with my stuff! I can't do it feeling like this, and I know what I need to do. I need to start taking care of myself. I said to myself this week, "Screw it!" I bought an iPod Nano, E2L foods, and plan on getting more tomorrow. I walk home from work (Carpool to work) and to run all of my errands. I'm going to the grocery store on the other end of town to buy more frozen veggies tomorrow, and walking to see some friends, too. Who needs a car? It costs so much money to drive and almost no calories.

Tomorrow morning, I plan on weighing myself and taking a picture of how I look now for before and after shots. I can do this! I have to do this!

What's With All the Potholes?

A dear and beloved relative of mine has been in the hospital since I last posted. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to stay on track most days because he has been requiring 24 hour care. I'm really down right now and haven't made the best food choices these last few days; my life has been completely turned upside down and inside out. I'm sick of this yo-yo dieting and I'm sick of having no control over the circumstances in my life. I want to do E2L and I need to do it. I need to do this for myself. For too long, I've allowed others to dictate how I live my life. Now, I've got to step up and do this for myself!

Is the Road Smoother Ahead?

Because this rocky ride is causing me to fall off the wagon! I hadn't anticipated spending the entire day (I'm talking about 10 hours, give or take) at the waterpark and did not pack enough food. Starving, I succumbed to temptation and ate fries.

I was caught with my pants down, as Kim and Rory would say, much to the upset of all three of us. I now find myself fighting off the evil nut butter, maple syrup, cereal bar demon. I've called for Mary McDougall to come to my rescue. Is she a match for this heinous creature?

I've made a list of ten core foods I'd like to stick with for the next ten days, and no cheating even on my birthday. Spices are not included, but salsa is:

1. White potatoes (with skin)
2. Sweet potatoes (with skin)
3. Broccoli
4. Lettuce
5. String beans
6. Salsa
7. Oranges
8. Onions
9. Mushrooms
10. Carrots

Let's see if Mrs. McD can fill up any of these potholes.

Chocoholics Anonymous

Since I was in preschool, I can remember being called a chocoholic. I love chocolate. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! Can I go without it? Yes, and have done so, but I decided to give the new CocoaVia bars a chance. Are they good? Well, they're okay, but that's not the point.

So, I bought a box today and didn't eat the entire thing. Um... that's not like me at all. I was walking home the grocery store and only ate one. It's good enough for me to eat more than one, but I didn't go for it right away. Later on, while munching on one, I set the bar down and didn't pick it back up. It's been at least an hour and I still haven't wanted to eat it. Crazy, yet wonderful - I think I'm making progress! ::knocks on wood:: : )

Water, Water Everywhere

Today has been (And hopefully will continue to be) another good day, food-wise. I ate a ton of kidney beans today, a pound of frozen veggies, more baby carrots, and a big salad is planned for dinner.

I think I went a little overboard with the beans (Something I always seem to do!), which may have been a bad choice; I'm going to a waterpark tomorrow and don't want to be bloated! It's my first time going swimming in years and I'm a bit anxious about it. I'm going to try drinking a lot of water and walk around a lot in hopes that I can keep any bloating at bay.

I think I lost any water weight I was retaining from before; the scale says I lost three pounds. ::sigh:: Must I change the ticker again?! LOL!

What I Want, I'll Get!

The first time I read the book Skinny Bitch, I fell in love. It keeps me down to earth and makes me feel like I can achieve my health and weight loss goals - I can control my life and eating. One thing the book mentions is positive affirmations, which I really believe work. For a few weeks after reading the book, I told myself that "Everyday, in everyway, my hips are getting smaller," and etc. My clothes starting fitting better and I felt better about myself, so I don't care how it worked! It worked! I'm trying to get back into that positive way of thinking about my body.

My life isn't really going the way I'd like right now. There are a lot of things I want that I just don't have or can't have (As is the case with everyone!). There are so many things in my life that I should have control over, but I don't. So, everyday, I now write out what I want, what I will allow myself to do, what I will resign myself to do - I will allow myself to care for myself; I will allow myself to care about myself. I resign myself to care for myself. I resign myself to care about myself.

I'm really anxious to see if my local library carries the books recommended by badyoga. I think that they'll help me out a lot, especially in addition to Skinny Bitch (Which is my current bible. LOL!).

Here's what I ate today:
Two baked potatoes
A pound of cooked veggies
Baby carrots
Green tea

And, you know what? I am satisfied! Food is not a big deal! It's just food and I didn't die because I didn't follow a certain plan to the letter or even attempt to. Honestly, I don't think I could have come to this realization without all of you leaving me encouragement and advice. It's helps to just have a "Rosy Plan." Thanks, everyone!

BTW, I did have to change my ticker. Ah, well! What can I do but keep thinking positively? :)

My Archenemy: Beans

I know that I have to eat at least one cup of beans on E2L, but I'm struggling. I love beans so much, so I eat TONS. I consume can after can after can! I've just used up my last three cans of no salt added kidney beans to make some dip and, once the dip is gone, I'm taking a bean sabbatical. I'm not making them completely off-limits, I just think we need a "break." The beans are smothering me, and while I love them so, perhaps we need some time apart.

I think what's helping me to stay on doing an E2L-type diet is being less uptight about it. If I don't eat my cooked veggies, I don't eat them. It's not like I ate extra starchy veggies or nuts/seeds in their place, so why should I care? I'm just naturally drawn to the core E2L foods.

A big thank you to Nicole and anonymous who left encouraging comments yesterday. I really need all of them I can get!

All Around the Dietary Bush, Fuhrman Chases Rosy

::sigh:: I keep going back to wanting to do E2L, and perhaps that's a good thing. I'm actually craving core E2L foods.

I really do have to laugh at myself, because I'm being so ridiculous about this whole food situation! As Nicole says, it's just food. What's better? Having acne (Yep, it's coming back now that I've been off E2L!) and being fat or being thin with beautiful skin? I'm gonna go with the latter!

Tomorrow's a brand new day, but I decided: Why wait to until tomorrow? Start today! So, I didn't finish my can of kidney beans just because they were there and hopped on the treadmill for a 30-minute jog! :D

Update

So, since I've last updated I spent time volunteering at a camp for special needs children. The only thing I could eat was beans and iceberg lettuce! Ugh! I had corn chips and other non-E2L things and am struggling (Once again!) to get back on track.

I'm really questioning whether or not I'm ready to do E2L . I think about food all of the time when I'm on a "diet." It's an emotional thing, not a hunger thing. I know I'm a food addict. If I could just eat one meal a day, I'd be fine. I'm fine during breakfast, but the binging starts once I hit lunch. And I binge late at night as well.

At this point, I'm really considering going back to the way I ate to lose the bulk of my weight. I ate cereal, fruits, and vegetables. It's something that's doable and sustainable for me. The only reason I was eating that way was because it was cheap, satisfying and convenient. I didn't have cravings or have the emotional desire to eat anything else; I had just become vegan and still had my [soy]milk and cereal as a SAD comfort.

I'd like to try eating this way again. I think I'll just modify it a bit so that it's as nutrient dense as possible. I recently bought a blender on sale (Specifically made for smoothies), so I'll definitely be drinking a lot of blended salads.

I'd love for people to weigh-in with their thoughts!

And She Gets Back Up

So, I'm back [100%] on E2L today! I feel better about myself and I'm so glad I managed to pull myself up. Here's my food for today:

Breakfast: Lots and lots of cherries, and a handful of whole grain cereal
Lunch: Big salad with baby carrots and beans
Dinner: Cooked green beans, onions, mushrooms, and broccoli (Oriental stirfry)

Baby Blender

A relative gave me a blender! They never used it (Not even one), so they just gave it to me. I'm very thankful because, really, I don't have the money to buy a blender. It's a miniature blender, but it'll do. I made a blueberry, banana, spinach smoothie and it was delicious! The baby spinach leaves were fresh-snipped from my garden! :)

WARNING: Cocoa Puffs Ahead

Okay, I ate about half the box of Cocoa Puffs this morning. I feel amazingly ill. Bleh. Consider this my "cheat" day, I suppose. I've got a ton of things to do today and I really need to get that blender!

So, has anyone got some words of wisdom for me? I tried to keep my ticker in mind, but after yesterday's binge it didn't seem to work. ::sigh::

Bad Binge

Okay, I tried making another batch of beans today... it didn't work out as planned. I ended up eating most of what the one pound bag yielded. What's up with me? I didn't even feel hungry. Perhaps it's because I keep trying to stay away from the Cocoa Puffs and it's driving me crazy! I had been going for some time without a binge like this (Even though the food was very E2L-friendly). So, what's my plan this time? Up my intake of greens, of course!

Tomorrow's plan: Buy a blender at Wal-Mart. I've had blended salads before and I quite like them... I just need a blender!

I went out to eat with family again yesterday. To a steakhouse-type restaurant. Oh my. Long story short, the waitress used to be a vegan, so she had the chef make up a very larg and delicious salad for me. With home-grown, freshly picked raspberries. Amazing.

Today I've pretty much just eaten some banana, oranges, and split pea hummus. I've got my period and am not really feeling up to eating much else. There are cocoa puffs in the cupboard calling my name and I'm doing my best to resist. This is quite difficult.

Heaps of Hummus

I've really been experimenting with hummus-like dips today! I've eaten so many garbanzo beans, I think I may turn yellow. As Keda suggested, I added some raspberry vinegar to some and it tasted divine (Yes, divine!) over my cooked onions and kale. I also had lots of watermelon, some more split pea hummus, and two small oranges. I'm going out to eat tonight, hopefully for a salad.

I seem to have trouble going out to eat sometimes. Despite Dr. Fuhrman's Eating to Live On the Outside posts, I can never manage to get eating out to be enjoyable food-wise. Funny thing, the portions for salads are teeny tiny, while steaks and such are HUGE!

For a family gathering, we went out to eat at a local restaurant. They were so kind to me about my "diet." Instead of asking the chef to leave off all the animal products and olives, the waitress suggested that I just order the house salad. I did just that and got almost no food! It could have been eaten in two or three normal-sized bites. She asked if I wanted another, and of course I said yes. I didn't want her to have to keep going back for such little food, so I just asked for some steamed mushrooms and broccoli (She had said it was an option). It came out with everyone else's meals and was easily 1/5 of the other meals. Um, okay? I sat and chatted with everyone while they ate, a bit disappointed about the outcome but happy that the restaurant attempted to please li'l ol' me.

And then I went home and ate some hummus. LOL!

My Amazing Ticker!

So, as you can see, I've got a ticker. It took me forever to get it "just right," but I did it. Anyway, the text on the ticker has really helped me. While I was eating tons of hummus, I thought about my ticker. "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." I set the hummus down immediately. I wasn't hungry and was just sabotaging myself again.

Thank you, dear Ticker, for not only showcasing my progress, but for helping me keep it up!

ETA: I'm seriously considering splurging on a blender. Hm.

P.S. No run for today. :/

Day 4: Cucumber Hate and Hummus

I hate cucumbers. They are disgusting. I like most vegetables, if not, I can tolerate most vegetables. However, I abhor cucumbers and I cannot eat them. I try every now and then to see if my taste has changed, and it never changes. I loath cucumbers. The only way I've ever been able to stomach them is pureed with pineapple. I have a few cucumbers sitting in the 'fridge. Who wants to buy me a blender so they don't go to waste?

I had amazing amounts of hummus today. Whenever I buy a box of premade hummus, I end up eating the whole thing. I didn't eat the enitre box today (Though I ate more than half); what a great accomplishment that was for me!

I also made some tahini-free hummus today without garbanzo beans(!). I loosely followed the recipe from Fat Free Vegan for Split Pea Spread with Hummus Flavors and I was quite pleased. I had to use green split peas, though, because I could not find yellow ones anywhere.

Day 3? And Blended Salads

I think we'll count this as Day 3 of Eat to Live (With exercise!). I'm going to go on a run in just a bit and I've been doing really well by eating only E2L foods, despite the temptations around me. While rice cakes don't sound like a temptation, it seems that vegetables, fruit and beans are about the only things I can handle without a huge binge resulting.

I used my mini food processor today to try my hand at a blended salad. It worked pretty well, so I'll try some more tomorrow. As I said, it is "mini" so I can't fit much in it.

ETA: I've had acne since around the fourth or fifth grade and it's starting to clear up! ::knocks on wood:: . I also think I've lost a pound. My scale isn't the most reliable (Really, what scale is? But mine is a bit primitive).

Tuesday Flog

Breakfast: Two large apples with flaxseed meal
Lunch: Adzuki beans, green soup and a salad with banana
Dinner: Salad and more soup (Banana for dessert)

Exercise: 20 minute run(!)


Yesterday, I didn't do my strength training and had a couple servings of grains. I've been pretty good for today, though!

Big shout out to everyone from VegSource who posted flogs on the board today, as well as Nicole! You all help me get closer and closer to my goals! :)

Today's Flog: With Exercise

Okay, okay... I really need to exercise. I know I won't lose this weight unless I exercise. Perhaps I should call this Day 1?

Breakfast: 2 cups mung beans (I was in the mood for beans, alright?)
Lunch: 1 apple, 1 cup banana, green soup
Dinner: Salad w/ apple and flaxseed

Exercise: 15 minute run, 25 minutes strength training










BTW, I know today is Father's Day. My dad died when I was a teen, so I normally just ignore this day.

Shopping: The Skirt and Shorts Debacle

Like a stereotypical girl-y girl, I love to shop. I lost 40 pounds and four and a half sizes -- I didn't like shopping before this. I thought I was thin when I lost three sizes, but now I feel chubby and I don't know why. I guess it's because I have such a tiny body frame...

Anyway, I tried on a skirt and I thought I finally made it into that size. However, when I tried on the shorts, they were too tight! I didn't pout, cry, or do that scream under my breath that really isn't quiet at all (All the ladies know what I'm talking about!). Normally, I just wouldn't buy the item of clothing. I had to submit, though. I have a pair of capris, one pair of khaki shorts, a khaki skirt, and a pair of shorts that fit a week and a half ago but surely not now (Damn cashews). I ended up getting the shorts and the skirt.

All of the weight I'm trying to lose is around my arms, hips and belly, to be specific. I'm hoping that I don't lose any weight from anywhere else; I'm happy with the rest of my body. I love buy tops. I've only grown a few inches since I was in fifth grade and a shirt I've kept from that time is bigger on me now than then.

I'm really worried that this program won't work for me as I only have 10-15 pounds left to lose. I do think it's something I could do for the rest of my, so that's not the problem. The problem is that I can't bring myself to exercise sometimes. I've thrown out the nuts, so maybe that will help. I'll stick to the veggies, fruits, and legumes and try to get my butt into gear with the exercising. I don't know why I stopped with only 10 pounds left to lose...

So, this post has been, self-pitying, shallow and superficial. Hey, what can I say? It is an online journal. I've gotta be honest.

What I Actually Ate

Well, I tried to eat according to my planned flog, alas, it did not work out. I ended up shopping and just couldn't get myself to make a salad and my greens soup (which wasn't very soup-like, but still tasty!)

What I actually ate:

• 1 cup bananas
• 4 cups apples
• Bowl of green soup
• Ounce of cashews (Hey, I tried to give them up, but needed the energy for shopping!)
• 1 cup mung beans
• A bunch of carrots (Maybe 2 cups?)

So, I didn't exactly meet my raw veggie goal, but at least I got pretty close to the plan!

So, any Yahoo E2Lers lurking around out there?

Flog for Tomorrow

I'm really worried that my daily nut serving is going to impact my weight loss. Normally, I wouldn't even be able to have nuts in the house without going crazy. At least half of the time, I only eat the maximum and no more, which is real progess for me. I don't eat the starches (They trigger major binges), so I figure that when I eat a little more than usual that I haven't harmed too much. But it is harming some, and I'm afraid of it all adding up.

I bought a bunch of spring onions at the FM (farmer's market) and plan on making an extemporaneous soup tomorrow. I love onions, so as much as I can get in the soup the better. I'm planning on just buying some chopped frozen greens (Kale is my favorite!) and throwing them in the pot with some water, the onions, and some VegeBase. I guess I'll throw in the cucumbers I have in the 'fridge. Honestly, I can't stand cucumbers, yet I buy them every now and then anyway -- just to see if I like them. I never do.

Breakfast: 1 cup frozen bananas and 2 apples
Lunch: A few cups green soup with 1 cup mung beans and banana for dessert
Dinner: Big salad (Lettuce, carrots, onions, mushrooms, etc.)

Disappointment

Well, instead of the 6-week program, I've been doing the maintenance plan. I really need to focus on losing this weight and feeling better.

I went to the farmer's market yesterday and got a bunch of fruits and vegetables. I have a bunch of cooked beans in the freezer, too, so I have no excuses to be getting most of my calories from nuts!

First Recipe

In my previous post, I mentioned that I went to the grocery store. I bought ingredients I would need for Bean and Vegetable Chili. I tweaked it to my likings, though.

My revised ingredient list:

• 2 medium-ish onions (I'm not sure how big "medium" really is)
• 1 small and 1 reg. size green bell peppers
• 4 cloves garlic
• 3 heaping cups pinto beans
• 1 28 ounce can tomatoes, drained and rinsed
• 2 heaping tsp. chili powder
• 1 tsp. cumin
• 1 extra large zucchini

Instead of cooking the zucchini with the rest of the mixture, I simply immersed the zucchini in the rest of the chili and stuck it in the 'fridge. I've done this with a similar recipe before and the zucchini seemed perfect. Hopefully, the recipe will be a success.

Flogs (Revised!)

I'm not sure if I should make a food log of what I plan on eating or what I actually ate. Now that I've written it out, I really should do both. I should do the same for exercise, but I'm not sure what today will bring (I went on a total binge yesterday and am still suffering from the aftermath).

Breakfast: 3 or 4 cups of Strawberries (I would normally have this with flaxseed meal, but I've run out)

Lunch: Bowl of chili and a salad

Dinner: Oriental stirfry (Mushrooms, green beans, onions, and broccoli) sprayed with Braggs. Maybe a salad.

The chili was really good, so I had two big bowls for lunch and plan on having a super-sized salad for dinner (Maybe some steamed veggies too). I'm sure the chili covered my one pound cooked veggies and one cup beans. At the most, I'll eat the chili within 3 days.

I'm also going to avoid using Braggs as much as possible. I really don't want the added sodium to affect my results

Lost Pets

Tonight, lost animals just seemed to be attracted to me.

I started to walk to the grocery store when the most forlorn looking dog appeared. As I drew closer to the dog, he came closer as well. He started following me, so I stopped; I didn't know if he was friendly or had his shots. He walked a few feet away from me and laid down. He was wet, his eyes were red, and...I had to fight off the tears. Really, I'm an emotional wreck of a human being. I didn't know what to do, but a man came out of his house and said he would return the dog to the owners. Relieved, I continued on to the grocery store.

On my way home, I saw something laying in the middle of the road. This time, it was a cat. As I got closer, it decided to come closer (Notice a pattern?). Fortunately, it had a collar so I knew it had its shots. Unfortunately, there was no home address. The cat followed me until it had an itch. I suppose I got boring, so the cat stopped following me. I still feel a tad guilty for leaving the poor thing out in the wet, chilly night.

As I returned home, the dog was still in the same place! It had been around 1/2-1 hour since I had left him. The neighbors and I stayed with him until the man who said he would return him actually followed through. I gave the dog some food and water. He didn't seem thirsty, but he ate all but a few pieces of dog food.

Oh my! How sad it is that this is possibly the most exciting thing to have happened to me in a long time.

Hey

This is my first foray into blogging, so be patient! I've been "lurking" around others' blogs and decided that I just had to have my own! LOL! I guess I'll use this first post as an introduction.

I'm Rosy and I'm going on 23-years old. I've started this blog for several reasons: I'm starting one of those "lifestyle" eating plans (more on that later on) and definitely need some support! And I got kinda tired of lurking around all the neat blogs that are out there.

Tomorrow, I plan on starting the program Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. I've tried to commit myself to this program before, but I've never really put my all into it. I feel that I really need to because I'm so sick of feeling like food's bitch. LOL! I think it's a really great program because a) It's not a starvation diet and b) It's incredibly nutrient dense. I've never really liked meat, and I have serious allergies to dairy and eggs, so I don't eat any of those things. I guess I could be considered a strict vegetarian? Either way, I'm a total sugar addict and need help! I also know for sure that I'm gluten-intolerant, but can't seem to give it up. Bleh! So, I need your support during these next six weeks, guys!

I'm also going to use this blog to just chat about my everyday life and musings. I'm normally a very private person, so I hope this blog will help me to open up.

I'd love to get some comments on my first post(s). *wink* *nudge* :) Hopefully I can get some readers.